[Last updated by Duane: 9 April 2010]

Once upon a time there was a website called The BRITES; a pro-theistic satirical website dedicated to highlighting some of the absurdities of an evolutionary worldview. It stuck around for a year or two, but then it seems it was forcibly shut down. There are however, still rare occurrences of material from the site spread around the web, thanks to others who have used excerpts from the site before the “dim”.

For example, here is one such example of their “evolutionary-based” critique of the famous William Paley Watch Analogy.

“We have a two tiered business approach,” Korpulous explains. “The first is aimed at the individual consumer. You first purchases [sic] a shaker. Watch parts are sold separately. Simply place the watch parts into the shaker and vigorously shake. The law of natural selection dictates the watch will ultimately assemble. It may go through various stages, and each assembly will require a different amount of time; but we know it works.”

Has a watch ever been assembled by shaking?

“No,” smiles Korpulous. “But that is of no concern. The theory is solid and evolution is as well established as the sciences of quantum chemistry, Newtonian physics and global warming. If you release a ball from a height, it will fall. If you shake a box of watch parts, it will assemble into a watch.”

http://cedros.globat.com/~thebrites.org/News/PaleyWatch.html [link no longer valid]

Or as George Wald (1954) once said in Scientific American, “Time is in fact the hero of the plot… Given so much time, the “impossible” becomes possible… time itself performs the miracles.” - Scientific American, 191, 44-53 - as cited at The Quote Mine Project.

Note: Before the quote Quote-Mine police jump on me, George Wald does not actually believe it is “impossible” as the context of his article reveals, and hence his use of the scare quotes. But really, so what! That anyone would admit that time is all that is required to get seemingly impossible tasks done without intelligent input (like watch assembly, to say nothing of the more miraculous claims of evolutionary theory as a whole) is quite revealing.

The name of the site - an acronym for ‘Biological Research Institute for Theoretical Evolution Studies’ (or BRITES for short) - is an obvious pun on the name of the original secular site; a website for materialistic evolutionists called “The Brights”. According to The Brights’ home page, a bright:

  • is a person who has a naturalistic worldview
  • has a worldview that is free of supernatural and mystical elements
  • has ethics and actions that are based on a naturalistic worldview

So if you hold to those things – especially point two – then you are “bright” (i.e. intelligent and reasonable), and if you don’t then you’re not! You’re just an idiot then I suppose? That seems to be the implication. The third point has some interesting ramifications for further exploration too. I mean, exactly what kind of ethics and actions are consistent with a naturalistic view of the world anyway? And what is ethics when the universe is all that there is? Marx had a view on that didn’t he?

Much of the content on The BRITES website appears to have been lost, perhaps known in full only to those who founded the site. Much like the ruins of an ancient city leave only a remnant for us to study and wonder, I have collected and restored what I could of The BRITES before the forces of “nature” destroyed what was left.

In simulation software called EvolFlag, Martin and his students carefully apply gradual modifications to an initial set of boundary conditions.

“During the flagellum simulated evolution, my students like to play Devo’s Whip It in the background,” smiled Martin. “They joke it supplies natural selection forces.”

Martin’s most impressive demonstration was evolution of the bacterial flagellum from common table salt.

“Salt, of course, contains no biochemicals,” offered Martin. “The ability to evolve a fully functional flagellum from simple table salt is a tribute to the miracle of evolution.”

…

Anti-evolutionist William A. Dembski, after evaluating a Beta version of EvolFlag, claimed in a press release today that “The Martin software is a fraud. EvolFlag uses standard morphing software and has nothing to do with demonstrating evolution. His report was a thinly veiled attempt to save face at the end of three years of funding from the National Foundation for Science.”

Dembski’s scathing review continues. “Any person with expertise in coding who examines will agree EvolFlag is a fraud. Martin’s research effort will soon be listed along side other evolutionary frauds.”

…

Dembski offered proof of his claim about Martin’s work. “I ran EvolFlag with the boundary conditions being a picture of me. The software evolves me into a flagellum. It evolves everything into a flagellum!”

After reading Dembski’s press release and viewing Dembski’s simulation, Martin sat back in his chair and smiled broadly. “Dembski and I agree. This is the miracle of evolution. Almost anything can evolve into a flagellum.” Martin chortled. “Even Dembski.”

http://cedros.globat.com/~thebrites.org/News/Flag.htm [link no longer valid]

If you have any success finding any more of the original content, drop me an email or leave a comment here.

[Update: 9 April 2010]

I thank Stephen for his email providing information about archived BRITES pages @ The Wayback Machine. This is apparently a searchable archive for just about any supposed “lost” content on the web. How cool is that!

Thanks again Stephen :)

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