(via)
(HT: Luis Dizon)

Dear Lord,

So far today, I’m doing all right. I haven’t gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, nasty, selfish or self-indulgent. I haven’t lied, complained, cursed, had lustful thoughts or invoked anger in my children. I haven’t been prideful, worshipped other gods, desired worldly goods, misused your name, stolen anything or given false testimony against another.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute and I think that I will really need your help then.

Amen.

www.answersingenesis.org

A satirical video from North Point Community Church, Alpharetta, GA. (And it really captures accurately the church I used to attend five years ago.)

(A parody of “More Than Words” by Extreme)

They might tell you there’s lots of works God wants to see from you
That’s not the right attitude; none are saved by things that man can do
But Jesus said the deed was done on Calvary’s hill
More than works: ‘cause all the good you do ain’t no big deal
And it couldn’t get you saved; that’s too costly, the Bible tells me so

What would you do if I quote Ephesians 2
No man’s works can save his soul; that’s so nobody can boast
The Good Book says that it’s not by works but grace
And you couldn’t make things new without faith in our Lord too

La-dee-dah-di-dee-dah…
More than works

Now they might try to talk to you and make you one of them
But all you have to do is hope in Christ and just be born again
And trust the Holy Ghost, he’ll never let you go
More than works is John 6:28, and now to show
That the good work that you need is to believe, ‘cause Christ already rose

What would you do if your heart was born anew
Your good works could show your faith, but you must first take His grace
What do you say? If you trust His Word today
Then you could still make things new just by praying
Why don’t you?

[Last updated by Duane: 9 April 2010]

Once upon a time there was a website called The BRITES; a pro-theistic satirical website dedicated to highlighting some of the absurdities of an evolutionary worldview. It stuck around for a year or two, but then it seems it was forcibly shut down. There are however, still rare occurrences of material from the site spread around the web, thanks to others who have used excerpts from the site before the “dim”.

For example, here is one such example of their “evolutionary-based” critique of the famous William Paley Watch Analogy.

“We have a two tiered business approach,” Korpulous explains. “The first is aimed at the individual consumer. You first purchases [sic] a shaker. Watch parts are sold separately. Simply place the watch parts into the shaker and vigorously shake. The law of natural selection dictates the watch will ultimately assemble. It may go through various stages, and each assembly will require a different amount of time; but we know it works.”

Has a watch ever been assembled by shaking?

“No,” smiles Korpulous. “But that is of no concern. The theory is solid and evolution is as well established as the sciences of quantum chemistry, Newtonian physics and global warming. If you release a ball from a height, it will fall. If you shake a box of watch parts, it will assemble into a watch.”

http://cedros.globat.com/~thebrites.org/News/PaleyWatch.html [link no longer valid]

Or as George Wald (1954) once said in Scientific American, “Time is in fact the hero of the plot… Given so much time, the “impossible” becomes possible… time itself performs the miracles.” - Scientific American, 191, 44-53 - as cited at The Quote Mine Project.

Note: Before the quote Quote-Mine police jump on me, George Wald does not actually believe it is “impossible” as the context of his article reveals, and hence his use of the scare quotes. But really, so what! That anyone would admit that time is all that is required to get seemingly impossible tasks done without intelligent input (like watch assembly, to say nothing of the more miraculous claims of evolutionary theory as a whole) is quite revealing.

Read the rest of this entry

(click for full size image)